Welcome….
Tuesday, April 10th, 2007Welcome to my little corner of the world: where I can discuss being a crazy person in all my insanity-ridden glory.
I’m not sure where this site is going at this point: I hope for it to be informative, entertaining, and something that like-minded people can relate to.
The first thing that I have to say about depression: I have it. The second thing I have to say about depression: I rarely refer to it as depression. I call it my insanity, the craziness, This Thing That Makes My Mind Hurt, The Sickness. Occasionally it will be known as ‘being loopy’, ‘crazed’, ‘maniacal’, and a host of other terms.
These aren’t meant to be derogatory. Rather, I call this thing anything other than what it really is because of the stereotypes out there regarding depression (and all mental health issues). Because it’s not something that many, many people can understand, I don’t try to fit all the issues I face in a day into one neat and tidy little category. Depression encompasses so much more than just feeling sad. At its worst, it leaves you in a cloud that you can’t escape from, a fog that takes you over bit by bit, that every molecule of your being becomes encased in. At its best, when you’re at your most medicated and therapied state, you’re fine.
The problem is that this Thing, this loopiness, this insanity, this maniacal craziness is lurking about, waiting to take you out once more.
On the surface, I’m just a normal person, bumbling my way through life. Deeper, though, I have a brain whose chemicals don’t line up properly, I have a body that doesn’t want me to sleep when I should, and I have a mind that has tried to take me over a few times in my life.
Here is where I will share with you the pertinent and completely mundane aspects of this mind. Trying tounderstand it seems futile at best. If I can’t understand it, though, I might as well share it with the world. Perhaps someone else can gain something from what I have to share.
Peace,
Amanda
