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Anxiety Attacks Loom Ahead…

by Amanda

I’m the Maid of Honor in a wedding this weekend, the wedding that is the reason my hair is five hundred and forty eight feet long. If it were up to me, the reception would be held at a reputable hairdressers’ salon, and the bride and groom would clink delicate champagne glasses together as the hair is chopped from my head. Somewhere near the scalp, preferably.

As part of my duty, I am making the guest book. Now, typically, this would require me leaving my house, going to a store, buying a guest book, and coming back home to laze on the couch. But, no. I had to go and have this wonderful idea that would make a lovely memory book of the guest book.

I decided to make it a scrap book of the bride and groom’s life, with alternating pages for guests to leave messages on.

Crafts and neatness have never been my forte. I am the worst Obsessive-Compulsive person in the world, because my handwriting is atrocious and I can not do anything in a straight line. I’m surprised that I can drive my car to work every day without killing people. Lots of people.

All those teeny tiny stickers with letters on them? Make me want to impale myself on sharp farm implements. The cutting tiny things out? Smash me in the face with a shovel. The glue? MY GOD, THE GLUE.

My hands sweat, my heart rate increases, my stomach tightens, and my legs tremble just thinking about all those teeny, tiny little things that need to be stuck to other teeny tiny little things.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go and wash the leftover glue from my locks of hair.


Posted in Dammit! on September 12th, 2007

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One Response to “Anxiety Attacks Loom Ahead…”

  1. Sarah Says:
    September 12th, 2007 at 11:19 am

    *giggles*

    But this means you can cut your hair soon! Very soon! :) Are you going to be able to donate some to Locks of Love? Is it that long!!?!?

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