Can You Handle It?
I posted yesterday about my challenges in the workplace. I’m back in school now to finish my diploma in the field. I already have my degree, but I figured that in today’s tough job market, I need every advantage I can get.
Or at least, that’s what the television commercials about saving up for school tell me.
At any rate, as a person dealing with anxiety and depression issues, I have to say that one of the most trying parts of my job for me is keeping my cool.
I am a person entirely incapable of keeping my cool. I know this about myself and I try to keep myself under control. So far at work I’ve had one shift that has sent me spinning and wanting to lay in my bed and weep: Not for anything that any one person did, but because I hate feeling like there is any aspect of my life that is not within my grasp. I hate feeling like I am not one hundred per cent in charge of every situation.
The classes I’m taking at school right now focus on finding out who you are. I think this is mostly because we need to be sure of ourselves before we can teach youths how to be sure of themselves.
I was discussing with a professor today the ups and downs of working in this field. And I’m beginning to think that everything I’m giong through is part of an ongoing process.
The fact is that I must go on in this field without spiraling into one of my infamous fits of hysteria. I may not cry, weep, scream, or lay on the living room floor howling for hours at a time.
When I think of the events that have gone on in the past weeks that have not caused me to lose my cool completely, I’m actually quite impressed with myself.
And I suppose that this is the point, this is part of the end goal. Not only, knowing myself, putting the positive aspects of myself out there; but also recognizing and accepting the negative aspects of myself and working on controlling them so they won’t impact my professional self.
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