Depression Talk

When you know you’re not wanted, that can make you depressed, stressed or intensify an already depressive condition. This can happen to misunderstood classes of people such as homosexuals and minorities. Well, if you live in England, you have a reason to be just a little more cheerful. There is finally a job you can apply for where you won’t be discriminated against.

You can be a spy.

M15 Wants You!

The UK’s M15 spy network is legendary, thanks in part to writers like Ian Fleming, John le Carre and Grahame Greene. Pretty much some of the only requirements are that you:

• are a UK citizen
• are proficient in at least one language (preferably British English, but they’ll probably haggle)
• have lived in the UK 9 of the last 10 years
• are at least 18 years old
• be willing to have your background and credit checked
• be willing to go through drug tests
• like working as part of a team
• can keep your mouth shut

When you have any type of depression (clinical depression or the “blahs”) it can be really hard to find a job, let alone a job worth finding. If you work for M15 — even not as a spy, but as an IT professional, CCTV surveliance monitor or administrative assistant — you not only get a steady wage, but benefits.

However, you probably will be fired immediately if you do a James Bond impersonation on the job.

Lie Back And Think of England

It may seem odd to American readers, but homosexuals could not work for the UK governement until the 1990’s and not for M15 until now. This was because it was assumed that gays and lesbians would be more suceptable to blackmail.

But how about if you are a clinically depressed gay Brit? Would you still be hired, even though you have the desired sexuality and handle all of the other requirements? This depends. Although literature and pop fiction is chockerblock full of depressed spies, the actual spies are still tight-lipped about what ailments are permitted in the M15 realms and what aren’t.

The M15 has been quietly recruiting minorities for a few years and also has been hiring some disabled people. But perhaps they feel the need to infiltrate the words of fashion, interior design and cross-dressing clubs. In such a dire need, perhaps they will accept clincially depressed gay minorites.

Man, there are days I really wish I was still living in England. Maybe I could have faked being gay. Americans count as minorities in the UK, right?