Depression Talk

One of the reasons people with any type of depression do not want to try to get help is because they are afraid they will be shunned for the rest of their lives. Depression is a mental illness, but an illness is an illness. It can be temporary or chronic.

Which leads to the next point of why a depressive may be reluctant to seek help. They may be convinced that any mental illness cannot be helped. “One nuts — always nuts!” They may also be convinced that their particular case is hopeless, so what’s the point of spending the time, energy and money seeking professional help?

The Point

The point is that there are no hopeless cases (as Dr. Abraham Low said). Also, just because you have depression does not mean you are doomed to be miserable 24/7 for the rest of your life. There are many options available to help relieve the suffering and eventually find some enjoyment in life again.

Having a mental illness like depression does not mean you have a major character flaw. It does not mean you have been cursed by God. It just means you have a mental illness. Any illness can be treated — whether it’s the symptoms or the root cause.

Riding the Wave

Depression is a great sea of frothing emotions. Getting treatment through medications, therapy and behaviorial changes can help you learn how to swim this sea. Although you can certainly feel exhaisted and think you will sink, you just need to try to relax and float.

So, metaphors aside, the answer is no — you won’t always be depressed. There wil be setbacks, but there will also be good times ahead.

Hope this helps.

It was very easy for my doctor to diagnose me with depression because I’d put off going to the doctor for so long that my symptoms were practically textbook. Also, by then, I’d discovered that just about everyone on both sides of my family had been diagnosed with one mental illness or another, including major depression.

You can’t begin to get better if you don’t have a correct diagnosis. So why are there a lot of depressives walking around that have been misdiagnosed? There are several reasons.

The Depressive Is Very Young

It can be really hard for doctors or therapists to feel absolutely sure that the cause could be depression for anyone under 21. Teenagers, for example, are notorius for their mood swings and sudden changes of behavior. Chronic illnesses can also lead to depression in kids, including thyroid problems, epilepsy, diabetes and abdominal migraines.

The Diagnostician Is Too Inexperienced

The bad news is that a lot of people in the medical profession just aren’t qualitfied to diagnose depression or mental illness. The good news is that they will admit it and try to help you find someone more experienced in these matters.

And remember, no matter how smart someone is, a school teacher, pastor or guy you met at the pub is not qualified to diagnose you as being depressed.

Mental Illness Symptoms Can Overlap

Everyone with depression has different symptoms and how severe those symptoms are. Some people with depression may hear voices — which is usually a symptom of psychosis. They can make you look as if you have another kind of mental illness.

You May Not Remember Some Symptoms

If you are really tired or confused because of depression, you may not think that some symptoms are worth mentioning to a doctor or you may just forget you had them. But these symptoms tend to repeat, so over time you and your doctor will finally pay attention to them.

Hope this helps.

Many types of depression runs in families, including major depression and bipolar disorder. The odds are that sooner or later, you’re going to bump into a family member or other loved one who is depressed. The best thing you can do is get the person to talk about how they feel and encourage them to get help.

But there are also other things you want to avoid doing. This list was inspired by The Family Intervention Guide to Mental Illness: Recognizing Symptoms and Getting Treatment by Bodie Morey & Kim. T. Muesser, Ph. D.

Thinking It Will Pass

Depression doesn’t go away on it’s own, so don’t worry that you are making a fuss over nothing. Who knows? If a person has untreated depression when they die, they could turn into a ghost with depression. Perhspas that’s why ghosts do all of that wailing and moaning.

Telling the Person to Snap Out of It

A person with any type of depression CAN’T “snap out of it”. That’s like telling a cancer patient to “snap out of it”. The only thing you will accomplish is making the loved one with depression hate your guts. And then, when the situation gets so desperate that you do need to have a serious heart-to-heart with your depressed loved one, they will refuse to listen to you.

Believing That Mental Illness Doesn’t Happen In Your Family

Mental illness is not a character flaw, a judement from God or a curse of any kind. It’s an illness — which is why it has that word “illness” in the phrase “mental illness”. You’d want your loved one to get treatment for cancer, so why not mental illness?

I had easier access to prescription drugs when I was homeless in England than now, when I’m homed and self-employed in America. Part of this ease was because of the NHS, but mostly it was because I was in the right place to get drugs (the street), if I so wanted them. In order to get money (for whatever reasons), some homeless were desperate enough to sell their prescriptions.

Funny thing is, I never asked anyone for Valium (diazepam). Some trauma would happen to me (such as when my home was burnt down) and a couple of days later, someone would slip a pill into my hands and say, “Christ’s sakes, get some sleep, will ya?” (which is a compliment.)

Nasty Stuff

I do not get along with Valium. If you’ve ever taken an overdose of Nyquil, then you know what being on Valium is like. You have an absolutely miserable 24 hours because you are so drowsy — and yet you can’t get to sleep. You’re constantly just about to fall asleep and then some noise wakes you right up again. You may also suddenly loose control of your bowels.

It was only a couple of days after takng the Valium that I could get eventually any sleep. I’m not sure if it was due to the Valium or my body giving out.

Valium and Antidepressants

In April of 2003, I started Prozac. I was still homeless in England at this time. Every now and then, someone would slip me a Valium. Mostly, I’d slip it back, but did get curious enough abut it to ask the day care centre’s doctor about any possible interactions between Prozac and Valium.

“Wow. Don’t take Valium. It can make you even more depressed than you already are. Smoke a joint if you have to to get some sleep but don’t take Valium.”

And so I haven’t and I am sharing the news with you. Hope this helps.

This is a dreadfully named type of chronic depression. Please, someone in the medical community rename this thing. When you’re depressed, you’re always convinced that you cannot be cured or helped. With a name like “treatment resistant depression”, that sort of kills off all desire to continue getting help.

Anyway, when you have this type of depression, the usual antidepressants do not work. According to the Mayo Clinic, a patient needs to have tried at least three different medications before they can be diagnosed with treatment resistant depression.

Things To Keep In Mind

A person’s circumstances could give them treatment resistant depression. For example, you will find a lot of treatment resistant depression in the homeless. The stress of trying to survive pretty much cancels out a lot of antidepressant effects. Other circumstances that could lead to this type of depression include grief, war and physical or mental abuse.

Unless these underlying issues are addressed, then all of the drugs won’t help the depression, although they may help the person get a few hours of sleep.

Other Therapies to Try

If you continue on trying to get help for treatment resistant depression, that’s a good sign that you will find some help. You can have this treated by a doctor or psychiatrist. They may recommend some or a combination of the following:

• New types of medications like anti-seizure meds
• Combining antidepressants with other drugs
• Talk therapy or cognitive behavior therapy
• Getting a new therapist, doctor or psychiatrist
• Shock therpay (usually reserved for sucidal cases)
• Deep brian stimulation
• Transcranial magnetic stimulation

Don’t give up.

If you aren’t worried about climate change, then you really should be worried about your mental health. But for those who know and personally experienced the devastating effects of climate change (such as species die-offs, diappearance of glaciers, Spain turning into a desert, and do on), depression is common and actually healthy.

Certainly, you can obssessively worry about anything, but in this post, we’ll just stick with worrying about climate change.

Denial Is Unhealthy

Truth hurts — that’s why many people don’t try to find it or accept it once they have found it. We are creatures of habit and try to get through life being as lazy as possible. So, many people have become global warming deniers and for some reason most of them seem to live in America.

Global warming isn’t something shockingly new. Scientists have been giving warnings since the late 1980’s. And hearing any news related to global warming can certainly be depressing.

But ignoring the problem is not an option (unless you want the Earth to become a lifess rock). Just like ignoring major depression is unhealthy, so is ignoring global warming. If you have depression and are worried about the environment — good.

Dealing with Worry

Climate change is a normal thing to be worried about. Convinced that a piano is going to fall out of the sky onto your head whenever you leave your house is not a normal thing to worry about. That would be paranoia. Worry can certainly become paranoia, but it doesn’t have to be in the depressive.

Being concerned or worried shows you actually give a damn. When you’re depressed, you’re really locked into your head. Worrying about the environment means you are thinking beyond yourself.

Then endorse yourself for the worry but then you need to work on your mental health to help do work for the environment in whatever way you choose. You can use the worry to help motivate you to not only get beter, but find a meaning to your life.

Hope this helps.

“A man is the sum of his memories” — Dr. Who

What date is it today? Did we just fast forward in time to April Fool’s Day? Actually, no. The blogosphere is jumping about a Dutch study that shows that the use of beta blockers could help people forget bad memories. The study notes that this is still all theory and that more research needs to be done.

If bad memories were fuel, then in a depressive, bad memories would be like nuclear power — complete with waste you can’t get rid of. But, if later research shows that beta blockers like propranolol can help you forget traumatic events, is it a good idea to take a pill to get rid of those memories?

The Value of Bad Memories

Bad memories — even traumatic memories — can be helpful to a person in the long run. It helps teach a person how to avoid or survive such events, should they ever crop up again. But they are oppressive when they repeat over and over again and you can’t shut them off or all you can think about are those bad memories to the point where they block out all good memories.

Part of dealing with depression or trauma is learning how to deal with the memories. Otherwise, you haven’t really progressed in your mental health. You can ease the symptoms, but until the root cause is dealt with, there won’t be a cure.

The Fire

In August of 2005, I saw my home burn down. It is not a memory I cherish and many days I would like to forget it. But it has become part of my personality that I survived a fire and kept my dog safe, too. If the beta blockers should prove to block bad memories, count me out. Getting rid of my bad memories also gets rid of parts of myself.

As we head into that time of discount sales on red edible underwear and bubblebath that comes in a champagne bottle, let us depressives remember one very important fact about romantic love:

It Sucks

If you have been diagnosed with depression, or even if you haven’t been diagnosed with depression, don’t make the mistake of thinking, “If I just find my soulmate, everything will be all right.” If you believe that, you are setting yourself up for a major heartache.

Let’s look at the problems in looking for a soulmate.

There Is No Such Thing As A Soulmate

The concept of a soulmate is that each couple makes up one half of a soul and that by only finding that special someone (usually around Valentine’s Day) you will feel complete and happy or at least able to cope with misery.

Bull cookies.

If you believe that people have souls, then why do you believe they’ve spilt in half? If you don’t beleive people have souls, why look for someone to make you complete?

You are putting all of the eggs of your happiness into the basket case that is your romantic partner or longed-for future romantic partner. By thinking that you need a soulmate, you have closed off all of the other avenues of life that can bring you happiness and good mental health.

In order to survive through life, you need to be flexible enough to adapt. A vast multitude of people can serve as your romantic partners and provide all of your needs in exactly the same way. Don’t expect them to make you happy — and don’t let them make you miserable.

True Love

If you want true love, adopt a pet from your local animal shelter. If you’re lucky enough to have a supportive family, send them Valentines and thank them.

Hope this helps.

I don’t remember a time when I haven’t been depressed. I wasn’t diagnosed with major depression (then called clinical depression) until my late teens, but I believe I was born depressed. There is controversy whether or not children get depression in the same way adults do and if children are misdiagnosed with major depression or bipolar disorder. But now there are some studes from both sides of the Pond about children and depression.

It Starts At School

A British study that lasted 40 years concludes that children with behavioral problems at school grow up into (surprise, suprise) adults with behaviorial problems and problems in just about all areas in their life, including depression. The study looked at 3,500 kids-now-adults. They were first observed between the ages of 13 - 15. They were then interviewed about 40 years later.

The study theorized that the most important factor in determining if a child is going to grow up a troubled adult is if they have behavioral problems at school. They say this is more important than genetics, home life or social class.

What To Do?

One way to help a child deal with depression or other problems is to not criticize them all of the time. Giving some praise and encouragement can help, even in the apocalyptic battleground that is school. This is according to a study conducted by the University of Missouri. They study followed 474 first graders for six years. The study hints that one of the reasons kids do poorly in school and act up is because they hate themselves. Giving them some encouragement can help them not hate themselves so much.

Personally, I think we should just get rid of school altogether. We don’t give schools enough money to try and do a decent job, so why bother? Let the kids run wild for a couple of years and maybe then schools will repopen with the funding they so desperately need.

Continuing where we picked off from yesterday, why would Gentiles get the assumption that Jews are the most depressed people in the world? And how have Jews handled depression when they do get depressed? Remember, I’m not Jewish (at least, not that I know of), so I’m not exactly an expert on Jewish culture, although I am a big fan of many Jewish comedians.

Cultural References

Depression used to be called melancholia. Figures in Jewish folk history such as King Saul and King Solomon were described as having melancholia. Sigmund Freud, the father of psychoanalysis, cigar afficianado and who treated depressives, was Jewish. In literature and plays such as Fiddler on the Roof, and movies by Woody Allen, Jews are depicted as being gloomy and pessimistic. Even the Yiddish word “kvetch” is used in American slang for “complaining”.

More Specifics

In Jewish culture, men and women are encouraged to express their true feelings to friends and family members, whether those feelings are happy or depressed. Jewish sons are expected not to keep any secrets from their parents, especially their mothers. Jewish men also have the responsibility of sitting shiva (a time of mourning) for one week after a close relative has passed. Part of the holiday Yom Kippur is observing ten days of atonement for one’s sins. In Jewish culture, (not just those who practicve Judaism) individuals are urged to remember the history of the Jewish people and their oppression from genocide to pogroms.

Turning Depression Into Laughter

Many popular comedy writers and comedians have been Jewish, including George Burns, Sid Ceasar, Woody Allen, Carl Reiner, the Marx Brothers, Jerry Seinfeld, Richard Lewis and Mel Brooks. Comedy has been a part of Jewish culture for centuries as a way of dealing with depressing events and times. Much of what is called “Jewish humor” is self-deprecating storytelling, with lots of physical humor that can make the comedian look ridiculous. Absurd and humorous situations can be found in the Torah as a teaching method.

Melancholia — now called depression — is a disease and not a cultural affliction. Clinical depression is thought to be caused by chemical imbalances in the brain. Stressful situations can intensify the symptoms of depression. Please don’t use this article in the place of a doctor’s diagnosis.

Off to collapse now. (Thud).

Judging others is fun. It’s also inevitable, as our species seems to do it all of the time in order to help interact with people and to crystalize (or destroy) our own opinions. But when you are a depressive, judging others can take on entirely different meanings, because of the depressive’s tendency to go to extremes.

You Are Not A Bad Person

If you see someone on TV, read a blog post or meet a stranger, you will inevitably make some judgements about them based on their words, appearance and actions. This is normal. We all do it, whether we have depression or not. If you meet somebody holding a bloodied sword, don’t feel bad if you turn tail and flee. Yes, that sword-wielder may have had a bad childhood, but you also need to keep from getting skewered.

Your Opinions Are Valid

One of the big problems I have with my major depression is that I feel that everyone else knows better than I do. However, after 39 years, I’ve discovered that in many cases, the opposite is true. I know quite a bit more than other people on certain topics - and they know quite a bot more than I do on other topics.

When you have depression, you tend to feel that if you make one mistake or don’t know much about one particular subject, then you’re an absolute hopless failure. That’s not the case. Your opinions and judgements hold as much water as anyone else’s.

Stay Flexible

One of the best things you can do when judging others is to always judge them every day. You don’t just avoid someone because of one thing. Give them another chance, depending on the situation. Judge them at that moment, but not for all time.

Hope this helps.

Chances are, if you are placed on an antidepressant or a medication to stabilize your moods, you will gain weight. This is because many antidepressants do two things — raise your appetite and make you dopey. Zyprexa in particular is noted for this. If you know that you can gain weight from anitdepressants, then you know that you need to try and stay active.

Remember, like it says on the sidebar, I’m not a doctor, so please talk to your doctor or therapist about the possibility of weight gain with any antidepressant. Don’t just suddenly stop taking any antidepressant, mood stabilizer or anti-seizure medication becauise the withdrawal effects can be painful and just a bit frightening.

Temporary Dopiness

When I started on Prozac, I was more or less knocked out for two weeks, and then my body got used to it and I was up to my usual energy levels. I can also get dopey if my dosage was raised — or reduced. The grogginess would go away in a few days, though. The grogginess can interfere with your driving ability.

Thankfully, I’m too blind to drive and I telecommute, so I didn’t have to worry about driving while groggy. I really recommend getting a ride or taking public transportation if you are changing or going onto a new medication because you may fell spacey. If you can, start the medication at a time when you have two or more days off in a row and don;t have to go anywhere.

Also, for God’s sake, don’t go anywhere near a contract in this condition.

Drink Plenty Of Water

One tip for helping battle the bulge and to help give you some more energy when on new medications is to make sure you are drinking at least five glasses of water a day. Okay — four glasses of water. You need to take a glass of water for your pills, anyway, so that’s one glass right there. Water can help give you a full feeling in the tummy. It also helps your circulation system and also cleans out your bladder.

If you don’t like the taste of water or other low-fat foods that are good for you, keep in mind that the taste buds can be trained to like a new food. You just have to give it two weeks.

If you have any type of depression, for God’s sake, don’t make any New Year’s Resolutions. Not unless you’re best-selling author and columnist Lisa Scottoline, who makes “unresolutions” like eating too much, sleeping in her clothes and kissing her pets full on the lips. You could also make resolutions like “I resolve not to kill anyone this year — even if they really, really deserve it, like those people who talk on two cell phones at the same time.”

But, you know what I mean. Don’t make those resolutions that are well intentions, but well out of reach, like losing 50 pounds and keeping it off, discovering the meaning of life or marrying (insert name of favorite celebrity here). In fact, get out of the whole New Year’s resolution thing all together. You don’t need the pressure.

Day To Day Challenges

When you have any type of depression, it can be really hard to plan a week ahead, let alone a year ahead. It’s just too depressing to think about the future. Now, this doesn’t happen to everyone with depression. Some people are exact opposites — they live their lives looking forward to some future reward and are pretty bummed that that reward isn’t here yet. Both dreading the future and ignoring the present can help intesify depression symptoms.

The fact is, just getting through the day is a challenge enough when you are in the grip of depression. There just doesn’t seem like any point to doing anything, such as taking a bath or a shower, for example. You’re just going to get dirty again, so why waste the water? No matter how itchy you feel, you won’t bathe because it all seems so pointless. Thinkng about a goal to make for the year under these conditions is just about impossible.

What’s With This Resoultion Thing?

It can seem strange not to make a resolution if everyone else you know seems to be making one. Don’t worry about it. Your mental health is far more important than participating in any social ritual. The New Year was traditionally a time of beginning new things. Now, when the Pagans were in charge, these resolutions made sense because the New Year was held at the end of autumn, when the harvest was brought in. You made a resolution to let it lie fallow in the ground and then sprout in the spring to be harvested in the autumn.

The practical upshot it, don’t let anyone put pressure on you to make a promise you can’t keep, even in the name of tradition. Happy New Year.

When you have major depression, the slightest thing can get blown out of proportion. It can be exhausting jumping to conclusions all of the time. One event can set off a chain reaction of illogic in your head which can lead to panic, anxiety or crippling fear. This happens no matter how long you have been taking medication and therapy, because setbacks are inevitable.

So, What Does This Have To Do With Mormons?

Yesterday, I recieved a very angry comment from my favorite reader, Anonymous, about a post I put up ages ago on The Perfect Blog Title (my personal blog). Now, keep in mind that in big letters on the top of the blog is the subtitle: “A humorous look at one woman’s spiritual journay through the absurdity of life and internet links”.

The post I wrote was about the group of Mormons in Howard Hughes’ employ during his last years that were called “the Mormons” or “the Mormon Mafia” by anyone who had to deal with Hughes in that time. My post was not entirely serious. I even ended it with: “I bet you most of the Mormons who mistreated and robbed Hughes felt perfectly justified in what they were doing. And if we think we are better than those Mormon aids, then we really don’t know ourselves very well.”

But, of course, someone decided to be offended:

I think you might all be slightly retarded. This may be one of the most ridiculous blog posts I have ever read. Ya - I’m sure the Mormons killed Hughes… this may be the silliest conspiracy theory ever concocted. Hate to burst your bubble, but the Mormon church has plenty of money of their own. They don’t need to waste their time or put their reputation in danger by knocking off anyone.

Its quite obvious that both the author of this blog and everyone who has made a comment know very little about the history involved or the “Mormons” who worked for Hughes.

I replied “Jesus Loves you, kiddo.” and left it at that.

Then The Migraine Hit

I hadn’t had a migraine in nearly a month, but a couple of hours after this exchange, I suddenly got one. Despite my research into migraines and knowing I had been diagnosed with migraine disease, I still thought, “Oh, no! The Mormons are out to get me!”

Now, obviously, the Morons are not out to get me. It was a coincidence that I received a migraine soon after getting a post from an Internet Troll. But when you have depression, you do have a tendency to think that everything bad that happens to you is your own fault. It’s not.

It’s the Mormons’ fault.

(Just a joke, folks. Albeit a poor one).

I am not a fan of the holiday season, particularly Christmas. Perhaps my choosing to work this sunny Christmas afternoon instead of taking advantange of goofing off may give you a hint of how I feel about it. If I see one more car advert about how they make the perfect gift, I think I’ll try and kill the Geico Gecko.

The holiday season brings a lot of baggage with it, which can be particularly hard on those with any type of depression or anxiety disorder. The memories and feelings can be crushing. They can compound any other problems or depressive symptoms you might be having.

Unpacking the Bags

This heavy holiday baggage can consist of:

• Memories of really bad holidays
• Memories of really good holidays, because you feel as if you have to live up to or surpass those standards
• Memories of everyone who has died and can’t celebrate this holiday season with you
• Memories of who you were supposed to get gifts and cards for but somehow forgot until Christmas morning

Well, the good news is that another December 25 is nearly through and that means the worst of the holiday season is over — and that the worst of the long winter nights are over. Gradually, there will be more sunlight until the summer solstice. Now, that’s something to celebrate!

Dealing With Issues

Let’s look at some of the items in the heavy holiday baggage.

• Memories of bad holidays: Just because you had a bad holiday in the past does not mean you will have a bad holiday this time around. Look around to see if anything is threatening you whenever you are feeling panicky. Try to focus in the present. That’s one of the reasons why I decided to schedule some work on Christmas Eve and Christmas.
• Memories of really good holidays: No one expects you to make the perfect holiday for them, even if you think they do. This is because there is no such thing as the perfect holiday. Our memories can make past holidays seem better than they really were.
• Memories of those who have died: This is tough and I wish I had good advice for those in grief. I’ve had several beloved pets die on Christmas week — one on Christmas Eve. It’s good to connect with others and try not to get isolated when you are feeling too down.
• Memories of who you were supposed to get gifts and cards for but somehow forgot until Christmas morning:

People are usually so busy this time of year, they may not notice you’ve forgotten them. If they do, say you’ve missed a few doses of antidepressants because you couldn’t afford to refill the prescription. That’s gotten me out of several social faux-pas.

Hope this helps.