What To Do When A Friend Tries To Commit Suicide
Wednesday, November 19th, 2008
Mom got a frantic phone call this afternoon. Her friend of about twenty years was calling from the hospital, after a failed suicide attempt. Her friend had been increasingly isolating herself from others — even buying a house far away from everyone she knew — and Mom did tell her that she was concerned for her well being. Her friend has severe depression.
Mom’s friend asked my Mom to contact her relatives in Ohio to come visit her while she was in the hopsital. Mom did so, telling complete strangers that their family member near Philadelphia had once again tried to commit suicide by trying to jump off a house roof and had to be taken to the hospital in handcuffs.
(No, I don’t quite understand that, either, but I’m not sure I really want to know.)
Not Your Fault
Mom says she feels as if she should be doing more to help her friend in the hopsital, but really, there just isn’t anything she can do. When someone you cares for tries to commit suicide, you naturally feel some degree of guilt. Party of it is survivor’s guilt and part of it is just the confusion and upheaval that such news of a failed sucide attempt brings.
Also, you feel bad because the situation is totally out of your control. When someone you care for tries to commit suicide, it’s not your fault. It is your fault if you completely ignore them when they ask you for help during their recovery.
Although Mom did talk to her friend about her isolation, the suicide attempt still seemed like a bolt from the blue. Mom’s friend did not act in a way that let her feelings of suicide show — except for choosing more and more to stay by herself, surrounded by people who didn’t know her at all.
What could Mom do — force her friend to get help when her friend didn’t want it, just because she moved far away and stayed home every night instead of going to the movies? So, if you think you should have done more to help your loved one who tries to commit suicide, take a deep breath.
You did all you could.
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