Depression Talk

When you’re depressed or if your symptoms are kicking up, it can be very hard to relax. But you need to relax in order to digest your food, get decent sleep and generally keep from imploding. I’ve talked to many depressives who find reading to be one way they can relax. (I’m also a depressive who relaxes when reading). However, some books are far more relaxing than others.

When I mean relaxing, I mean something enjoyable to read, that’s not too taxing on the brain but also won’t but you to sleep. A list of books that will put you to sleep is an entirely different list for another day.

These books don’t directly deal with depression or mental illness. They’re more of a “one size fits all” kind of deal which can be read no matter what mood you happen to be in. Enjoy.

• Anything by Sylvia Browne. She’s a famous American psychic who appeared on television a lot and co-wrote a string of bestselling books based on her lives and misadventures. The writing is witty and engaging. You don’t have to believe in anything Browne talks about in order to get sucked into the book. (I mean that in a nice way). You will have to look in Non-fiction in order to find the books, though.
• Anything by James Herriot. (You know — the All Creatures Great and Small guy?). His real name was James Wight, but was uncomfortable using his real name, lest his clients be offended. They figured out who they were in his stories, anyway, and really didn’t mind.
• Children’s books. Why let the little crumb-crushers have all of the fun? Many children’s books are suprisingly complex — and, if you don’t have much time, you can usually get them done in one sitting, which can give you a feeling of accomplishment.
• The Magic of Xanth series by Piers Anthony. The best-selling fantasy series. You don’t have to read these in order, because the stories are pretty self contained. A lot of sex, though. And, even worse, a lot of puns. Some people find Anthony a bit too juvenile and prefer Terry Pratchett. So, if you’re not keen on Anthony, try any of Pratchett’s Discworld books.

You already have a hard enough time trying to get through life with clinical depression. Why make it any harder on yourself? Here are some suggestions about activities to avoid, otherwise you may find your symptoms of depression intensifying. Enjoy.

• Don’t count the number of dead animlas by the side of the road (not unless that’s part of your job).
• Don’t watch a documentary called America’s Lost H-Bomb right before going to bed. You won’t sleep for days, wondering about how anyone could loose an 8,000 pound H-bomb for over 50 years.
• Don’t call anyone from Scotland “Scotch”. They hate that. Of course, you’ll be knocked unconscius before you can have a chance to apologize.
• Don’t decide to clean the bathroom when anyone in the home has the flu.
• In a similar vein, don’t clean the floors of your home on a rainy day if you have a dog. Not unless you enjoy muddy pawprints. Otherwise, never mind.
• Don’t watch any of these movies.
• If you are an American with a Bachelor’s in English and you move to England, don’t tell the natives you have a degree in English. You won’t be believed. Ever. Not even if you bring the diploma with you.
• Don’t bang your head against a brick wall. (As George Carlin said, “Well, some people need practical advice”.)
• Don’t teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
• Don’t rack your brains trying to remember where you first heard, “Don’t teach a pig to sing. It wates your time and annoys the pig.” Definitely wasn’t EB White.
• Don’t go out to eat, to the cinema or go shopping on Christmas Day. The employees there do not want to be there and will be really annoyed to see you. Not unless you come prepared with gifts for them, like chocolate, peppermint sticks or money. Then, they’ll at least plaster that fake smile on their faces. Ho-ho-ho.
• Don’t make your bed unless company is coming over and will, for some reason, enter your bedroom. Life is too short.
• Don’t write a list entitled, “Some Things Depressed People Shouldn’t Do” if you already have depression.

Are you depressed? Or are you not sure? Or perhaps you are worried that your friend or family member has depression. And, again, I’m not talking about feeling sad — I’m talking about clinical depression, which is a disease and needs prompt medical treatment. It doesn’t go away on it’s own.

These symptoms are not the only symptoms of depression, but are the most common.

Physical Symptoms

• Lots of aches and pains, including headaches
• Sleeping all of the time or not being able to sleep at all
• Constant fatigue (not suprisingly)
• Lack of appetite or uncontrollable appetite
• Sudden weight gain or loss
• Lack of attention to personal hygene or becomes obsessively clean

Emotional Symptoms

Sometimes, doctors and therapists will list these symptoms along with physical symptoms, but other doctors and therapists will prefer keeping them seperate.

• No interest in things that used to get the person exicited
• Difficulty making decisions, even the smallest decisions like what to eat for lunch
• Mood swings
• Thinks about committing suicide or even, “Wouldn’t the world be better off if I were dead?” Thinking this once in your life isn;t alarming, but dwelling on it for weeks on end is a little unhealthy
• Sees no point in doing anything — even having a good time
• Refuses all minor suggestions for how to make their life better or easier, such as suggesting what they could eat for lunch

Which leads to another problem, refusing to realize or admit that they are depressed. There is something really insidious with clinical depression as you are convinced that you are the only person in the universe that has ever suffered like you are suffering. Either that, or you’re convinced that God made you in order to use you as His/Her/Its practical joke. (Or, like me, I had both feelings). I was also afraid of being thrown into a looney bin and having all of my freedoms taken away.

And, quite frankly, I was absolutely terrified at how much getting help would cost. I had to become homeless in order to finally accept help. Hopefully, you won’t have to go through a similarly hard lesson in order to get help.

I’m contemplating making every Friday a list day. Just a random list of random things.

So, for my first List Day:

1) I think that I’m going to try buying some Near Beer and seeing if I love it as much as regular beer. The problem with beer is that I love, love, love it. I just love the taste of it … not so much the feeling you wake up with the next day that leaves you thinking, If only the damn beer wasn’t so GOOD, I wouldn’t be peeing like someone who consumed all kinds of beer last night.

2) I’m done school and unemployed, and I have never been busier in my life.

3) I went through all my old high school and college papers today, so I could throw out the trash and make my old room a little less cluttered. Talk about a walk down memory lane.

4) My mother made me take down all of my old South Park posters. Its probably for the best, now that my nephew can read, but now every bit of my thirteen year old self is gone from the room. Does this mean I’m a grownup now?

5) My most influential teacher signed my yearbook in the tenth grade with “Amanda: Don’t ever lose your desire to question. It looks good on you.” I think about that often, even to this day, and I’ve never forgotten that she wrote that. I’m not a hundred percent sure what she meant, and I’m hoping that one day it will just hit me, like BANG. And suddenly, I’ll realize that she knew something about me that I never knew about myself back then.

List Fridays, Non-alcoholic Beer, Beer, Unemployment, de-cluttering, Organization, South Park, Most influential teacher, Introspection