Depression Talk

The World Health Organization has released a new study on the effects of depression on overall health. Apparently, us crazy folks carry a heavy load on our shoulders.

I suppose I never really thought about it before, but depression can cause and contribute to other illnesses as well. Of course, it makes sense. If you can’t think straight to eat properly, get out of the house, and take care of yourself… Well, maybe maintaining a high level of overall health is a bit trickier.

Add to that the fact that depressed people are more likely to smoke, drink alcohol, or use drugs….

Yeah.

I suppose it just goes to show: It really is hard to be a crazy person.

I rode the Chestnut Thoroughbred on Friday morning, and it was everything I had hoped it would be. It was more, even, because I got to ride him in a ring and then I was given the opportunity to go for a hack with him and his owner. We had a lovely time, a lovely chat, and I really felt that I got a good opportunity to meet and understand the horse before making a decision.

He arrived at the Ranch house Sunday afternoon. His first hours here have been lovely: He seems to be getting along nicely. We had a lovely ride together and now he is tucked away in his new stall for the night.

I’ve heard people speak of passion in terms of dealing with anxiety issues and depression. If you can create something in your life that you have a passion for, the ick that exists seems easier to deal with.

I’ve always been an incredibly passionate person. I’m passionate about my music, about writing, about the people who are important players in my life. I suppose with all that to be passionate about, I probably shouldn’t feel like I want one more: But I do.

I am passionate about this horse, about me returning to the ring, about my big ol’ butt getting back in the saddle. Perhaps it can help to stave off The Crazy that much longer. If not?

It will certainly be worth its while regardless of whether I lose my mind again or not.

Depression, Fighting Depression, Horseback Riding, Equestrian, New Horse, Passion

I’m always scared to get involved with a new endeavour for a variety of reasons. The number one reason is heartbreak.

I become heartbroken very easily. I am hyper sensitive and can find myself curled up in the fetal position, weeping, because someone ate the last of the potato chips. I’m not sure if this relates to being a crazy person, or if I’m just really, really special; either way, heartbreak scares me. Mostly because all the booze it takes me to recover is so expensive.

I’m going to look at a horse this morning. My last horse broke my heart in many ways: Partly because I should have been more diligent with his training, and if I had been, perhaps I wouldn’t even need to look at a horse tomorrow. He also broke my heart because the day I met him, Christmas day, I fell completely head over heels in love with him. He was sweet and gentle, and nibbled on the palm of my hand. I groomed and tacked him and hopped on him and everything went perfectly on that first day.

We had a few more relatively successful rides together, and then, slowly but surely, all hell seemed to break loose. Perhaps he just wasn’t happy in his environment after having spent so much time in a professional stable on a race track. Perhaps he had a mood disorder, perhaps any number of things, but regardless: He got mean. He got scary. And he got dangerous. He had to go.

I had enough time to accept that he would be leaving, because his shift in personality was gradual. So I wasn’t that heartbroken the day he left.

My father has laid down the LAW with regards to the horse we’re looking at tomorrow. I AM NOT allowed to fall in love with this horse until after he has inspected it. He has to have good teeth, sound legs, be in good physical shape, not have heaves or foot cracks or any of a million other problems that horses can have. And then I have to make up my mind about him.

So here’s to trying not to put myself out there until we’ve seen and ridden the horse, because Lord knows if I see him in the stall, if he looks at me with big, Thoroughbred Chestnut Gelding eyes and sniffs my shoulders, I will fall in love with him immediately.

AND WE CAN’T HAVE ME FALLING IN LOVE WITH THOROUGHBRED CHESTNUT GELDINGS WHO HAVE CRACKED HOOVES.

Perhaps I should have my father take over my dating life as well?

Falling in Love, Thoroughbred Chestnut Gelding, Horse Shopping, Buying a Horse, Equestrian

I’m contemplating making every Friday a list day. Just a random list of random things.

So, for my first List Day:

1) I think that I’m going to try buying some Near Beer and seeing if I love it as much as regular beer. The problem with beer is that I love, love, love it. I just love the taste of it … not so much the feeling you wake up with the next day that leaves you thinking, If only the damn beer wasn’t so GOOD, I wouldn’t be peeing like someone who consumed all kinds of beer last night.

2) I’m done school and unemployed, and I have never been busier in my life.

3) I went through all my old high school and college papers today, so I could throw out the trash and make my old room a little less cluttered. Talk about a walk down memory lane.

4) My mother made me take down all of my old South Park posters. Its probably for the best, now that my nephew can read, but now every bit of my thirteen year old self is gone from the room. Does this mean I’m a grownup now?

5) My most influential teacher signed my yearbook in the tenth grade with “Amanda: Don’t ever lose your desire to question. It looks good on you.” I think about that often, even to this day, and I’ve never forgotten that she wrote that. I’m not a hundred percent sure what she meant, and I’m hoping that one day it will just hit me, like BANG. And suddenly, I’ll realize that she knew something about me that I never knew about myself back then.

List Fridays, Non-alcoholic Beer, Beer, Unemployment, de-cluttering, Organization, South Park, Most influential teacher, Introspection

Did you know that May is Mental Health month? A dear friend also informed me that May is the month of strawberries, so it must be my month for sure.

I’m not sure what one is supposed to do in celebration of mental health month. Perhaps those of you who are sane should do a little dance around your living rooms in celebration of being so; while those of us who are insane should find a comfortable chair and choose a liquor. I don’t really see what good any of that will do. At any rate, I’ve chosen beer and my family’s computer chair.

This article lists some of the everyday factors leading to poor mental health. Stressors like being overworked, undernourished, under-rested, and a fast-paced lifestyle are what lead people to be stressed and unpleasant in the modern day.

Clearly, the best way to deal with each of these stressors is to assume a position in life that keeps you away from work, fast food, air pollution, and the rest of the conveniences we have come to depend on. Unfortunately, I’m not ready to give up my MP3 player just yet, so anxiety attacks over finding batteries in time are sure to remain a part of my life. Perhaps we would all live in perfect mental health if we lived in grass huts in the desert. But if we did that, we would probably miss out on McDonald’s and really? No one wants to drink home-made beer. Trust me. The stuff from the liquor store is JUST THAT GOOD.

I have no idea what good a mental health month can do for any of us. Is it a month devoted to being insane, or is it a month devoted to becoming less insane? Valiuum for everyone! Or is that not a good way to go about acheiving a society of good mental health?

I really do wonder about all these arbitrarily named months and days devoted to this and that. I’m not sure what good they do. Raising awareness is always a positive step; however, because everything has become a pet cause for so many people, the realities of some peoples’ situations tend to get diminished.

Do you participate in arbitrary days created for cultural reasons? Examples would be Mental Health Month, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Valentine’s Day, Secretary’s Day and so forth. How do you feel about these?