If one more person does an obnoxious thing near me…
I am going to combust.
Seriously.
SO MANY PEOPLE have been doing revolting things while in my presence in the last week or so that sometimes I just want to scream for everyone in the free world to stay ten feet back at all times.
What makes things worse is that now I am sick. Clearly, there can be no other reason for my sickness than the disgusting things people have forced me to inhale over the last few days.
Some examples include, but are not limited to:
1) Burping so that I have to inhale the burp air.
2) Coughing without covering.
3) Not washing hands for thirty seconds with warm, soapy water before leaving the washroom.
4) Not even pretending to wash hands after using the restroom.
5) Breathing heavily where I have to breath.
6) Allowing their air to waft over to where my air is, so that I am FORCED AGAINST MY WILL to inhale the air of others.
7) Maintaining a level of stench upon their person such that I am sure that the air infected by said stench is full of harmful bugs.
These are only a FEW of the nasty things that people have done near me and if one more inhabitant of this world causes me to ingest the cast-off nastiness from their person, I will simply cease to exist.
The other day I was in Wal-Mart and I watched a woman come out of the stall from using the restroom, change her baby’s diaper, pack up her baby and its belongings, and leave the restroom without washing. She even had the nerve to leave through the door that I had to leave through, leaving her trail of germ-y goodness for me to be forced to put my hands in. Every time I’m in a line, it seems as though I’m standing behind or in front of a non-covering sneezer.
I blame these people, these diaper changing, non-handwashing, non-covering sneezers I run into in Wal-Mart and Tim Horton’s that I’m SICK. I’m stuffed up and sore-throated and I can’t breath and I haven’t slept and I’m just a big old barrel of sunshine really, really pissed.
GAH.

June 14th, 2007 at 10:13 pm
Even sick you’re still my favorite!