Depression Talk

I had a rather ridiculously busy weekend, one which involved a wedding, a night of drunken foolishness, and not sleeping at all Sunday night in order to arrive back home in time to sleep from six until noon.

Weekends like this often interfere with my drug regime, a regime that according to my doctor should never, ever be interfered with unless there is some kind of apocolypse that shuts down every pharmaceutical company on the planet Earth.

So I neglected to take my drugs two days in a row.

I typically keep my drugs in the pocket of my lumberjack jacket because I wear it every day and when I pick it up and hear that familiar rattle, I can just reach in and grab them. However, because I waxn’t sleeping at home and I have a friend who refuses to be seen in public with me while I wear it, the drugs were in my toothpaste and drug holder. Its the one that should be large enough to house every personal item I have use for, but instead holds only a few key items, my drugs, and my toothpaste. They were not conveniently located, and by conveniently located I mean in a place that I can get to without having to expend any energy whatsoever. If my drugs are upstairs, I don’t take them. If they are in the car, I don’t take them. If they are in a bathroom cabinet, I don’t take them.

So today I am suffering the consequences. My brain is gyrating about inside my skull; my hands feel shaky and I can’t do anything but sleep because of the way everything feels like it is moving as though it is a bad techno song on acid.

You’d think that after a while I would learn that putting the damn pills in my mouth and swallowing would be a happier alternative to these nasty side effects, but six drug-filled years later, I’m still sitting here shaking like its my job.

I wish there was a point to this entry, like I’m going to really, really learn to start taking my meds because messing around with my brain chemicals like this IS JUST NOT GOOD. Unfortunately, its been six years now and I tend to think that if I haven’t learned yet, I’m probably not going to learn any time soon.