Spring is Hard on the Celibate
After a couple of disasterous relationships, a few years ago I took myself out of the dating scene. Since I became celibate I’ve been able to start my own freelance writing business, give to charity and help out my family (instead of the other way around, for a change). I’ve also been able to make great strides in managing my major depression.
Am I Being Punished?
Perhaps it was my Protestant upbringing, perhaps it was watchign too many movies or perhaps it was my depression, but many times I think the reason that my relationships turned out so badly was because I never stayed true to my biggest love.
My biggest love happens to be Peter Gabriel. I fell for him when I was 16 and now I’m — a lot older. However, the big snag in my relationship with Peter is that he’s completely unaware of it. He’s also currently married to a woman younger, more attractive, more intelligent and more fertile than I am, so I don’t think I have much of a shot (not that I ever did. In between wives, he’s dated actresses, models and other singers).
But yet, I’ve still not stayed true to him. In one way, I’ve betrayed my greatest love, so is that why my relationships were always crap, because I was being punished.
This Is, Of Course, Nonsense
Even if I did manage to date Peter, I’d sure as hell screw it up somehow. That’s just the way I am. I like being single — and unchained by a relationship. So, I feel miserable in the spring when the hormones start rushing about my body, but it’ll pass. It always does.
May 28th, 2009 at 11:39 am
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