Starting A Depression Jag
WHINING ALERT
(You have been warned.)
Although you always have depression, some days it’s far more intense than others. This is one of those days for me. The international news is grim, the bad guys always seem to win and my Mom lost a good chunk of her retirement life savings on the stock market. (Hey, during the 1990’s, it seemed like a good idea to invest). My migraines have worsened and I cannot afford to buy triptans, which can help the pain. I wish I never had that free sample so at least I wouldn’t now know what I’m missing.
This is a setback. Setbacks are inevitable with any kind of mental illness. I call these setbacks “jags”. I have no idea where I picked up that term, but it’s stick in my tiny little mind and there you have it.
I’ve Done This Before
I keep reminding myself that I’ve been through these jags before and so can, logically, get through this one. That being said, I wish I could just spend the rest of my life curled up under the blanket with my dog.
I guess Mr. Spock wouldn’t approve that plan of action. Then again, I don’t think Mr. Spock ever had endogenous recurring depression. Yes, I know he’s a fictional character, but Hamlet was also a fictional character and he darn well showed all of the signs of clinical depression, so fictional characters can get depression, too.
So, I have Hamlet on one side talking to me and Mr. Spock on the other and my dog is at my feet looking at me for a Milkbone. How am I going to pay for her milkbones if I don’t get out of bed and off to work?
I Can Do This Again
Although it’s extremely hard, I’m trying to slog through the day, anyway. My problems are still going to be there, whether I put in a day’s work or not. If I don’t work, then I loose the day’s pay — on top of all my problems. That would make my problems a much bigger pile than before.
And, eventually, this latest jag will go away.
I just wish “eventually” would hurry up and get here.
October 6th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
thanks good blog and post