Depression Talk

When you have depression, the last thing you feel like doing is sticking up for yourself in any way, shape or form. You don’t have the energy to engage in any confrontation. You probably want to do everything you can so you can quickly get back to bed. You also feel as if it would be hopeless to be assertive in any way, since the world sucks, so why bother?

It’s hard to argue with those powerful feelings, but you do have to bother. One little victory today can help prove to yourself that you can make your life better through your own actions.

The Rescue Fanatasy

Believe me, I still indulge in this fanatsy from time to time. In this fantasy, you are the best friend or lover of a perfect person who can right all of the wrongs in your life. Although many women have this fantasy, many men have it, too. There seems to be a collective fantasy in the world that some sudden scientific discovery will take care of global warming once and for all, without us having to lift a finger.

People with depression don’t have any kind of rescue fantasy because we are lazy. We have it because our depression constantly tells us that we are helpless and hopeless and therefore unable to rescue ourselves. After battling depression all of my life, I still have those thoughts of, “I’m useless,” going through my head. It’s not exactly a rousing battle call. Not many family crests have the logo “USELESS” emblazoned over them.

So, when you keep thinking that you are useless often enough, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. You do become useless because you’re convinved that no matter what you do, you’ll fail at it, so what’s the point of trying?

Being a Bitch

I’ve left an abusive relationship. I run my own freelance business and have run into deadbeat clients more times than I’ve had hot showers. And I have major depression. In order to survive, I’ve learned to ignore the voices in my head and stick up for myself. I am then called a bitch. Well, sometimes you have to be a bitch in order to get things done.

In order to stick up for yourself, just do it immediately. Don’t stop to agonize if you’re going to offend anyone or if you’re going to mess up somehow. That’ll make you a victim every time. Once you get one victiory sticking up for yourself, you can draw on that happy memory for strength when you have to stick up for yourself the next time.

Hope this helps.