Talking to Someone After A Failed Suicide Attempt
I’ve screwed up more suicide attempts than I care to admit, so I’m sadly more than qualified to write this article. If you’re reading this, chances are you have also gone through a failed suicide attempt or know a loved one who has just gone through a failed suicide attempt. Any communication — whether at home, hospital or on the phone, is going to be awkward for both sides. There really isn’t any right way of talking to someone after a failed suicide attempt, but I can give you some hints that helped me in my past misadventures.
Don’t Bring Up the “S” Word Unless The Patient Does
The person who has attempted to commit suicide and is still alive will feel like a failure. They will be overly self-conscious, embarassed, freaked out and worried. Automatically blurting out, “How could you have tried to do such a thing?!?” will not make the situation any better. Trust me.
Let the patient talk in his or her own time. If they want to talk about it — fine. If not — that’s fine, too.
Talk Like You Normally Would
One of the reasons some people commit suicide is because they feel as if they are a burden on thier friends and family. They believe the world will be better off without them. When the suicide attempt goes awry and they realize they have to face their loved ones, they worry if they’ve forever lost the friendship or good relationship they may have had with them.
Let them subliminally know that your feelings for them still hasn’t changed. Talk to them about things you normally talk about. Although I was resentful at first when this happened after one of my failed sucide attempts, later on I really came to appreciate it.
Ask If You Need To Bring Them Anything
Whether they are in the hospital or at home, it’s alwqays good to ask if you can bring anything to the person recovering from a failed sucide attempt. They will most likely be in shock, which can lead to sudden weakness or incoordination. Just taking the trash out for them or bringing them a cup of tea not only gives you something to talk about, but shows that life goes on.
Hope this helps.
December 1st, 2008 at 1:14 pm
[...] The US Government won’t bail out the health care industry, so maybe they can at least send all of us who are mentally ill a greeting card whenever we try to kill ourselves. [...]
June 10th, 2009 at 5:13 pm
Well written post. Over time I recovered from depression but it took medication, counseling and also a lot of personal development. Are there any good forums you would recommend?
January 9th, 2010 at 5:17 am
You are very right. After I survived my suicide attempt somone I was close to had said how could you have done that and it hurt so bad it made me feel like a complete and total failure. I still feel like that sometimes. Honestly how can you fail to kill yourself goes through my mind a lot.