This makes you think…..
I took this picture last fall, after an incompetent doctor tried to kill me with ultra high doses of anti-depressants. It’s unfortunate that it has to happen, but some medical professionals are just not that adept when it comes to dealing with medical issues that aren’t black and white. As I’ve learned, very little in this world is black and white. Very little actually makes sense, and when you’re little and your parents tell you that life isn’t fair?
They weren’t lying.
I’m not sure why I did take this photo. I think it says a lot about my mood at the time: All I wanted to do was to make the anxiety that was coursing up and down the length of my body go away. Sometimes when I’ve had a bad day, deep inhalation on a cigarette can make it stop. Other times a beer or two can make it stop.
But when your anxiety gets out of control, beyond the point where deep breathing is going to do any good, relying on your favorite vices isn’t going to help, either. It’s a cold hard fact, and one that’s hard to accept a lot of the time.
Most of all, though, this picture makes me think that there is so much more that you don’t see. You don’t see that these objects, these things that I rely on to link me back to sanity, are sitting on my mother’s kitchen table. You don’t see that the room is sunny and bright, and that my mother and I are laughing about how ridiculous it is to photograph one’s drugs before washing them down with beer. (Which is not something you should do. Just, you know, as an FYI).
Does it make you think anything in particular?
April 16th, 2007 at 6:21 am
It makes me think it should be the cover of a rock and roll album. :Þ But it also makes me think about how a lot of us sit there, drink in hand, smoke in the other, mulling over whether to take our medication at all. But then we toss ‘em back and get another beer, and life goes on.