Tuesday Night Blues…
Well, I don’t really have the blues. But I have been staring at my computer screen for what feels like hours, searching out volunteer opportunities around Canada. Yep. I’m looking in to going away for the last semester of my college program, which is entirely work-based.
So far I’ve found a number of things that look interesting, but as per usual, the logistics are killing me. Its like getting married and having babies and living happily ever after: It all sounds well and good, but they always get you on the details.
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We did some chatting today in our family psychology class, and again I’ve been thinking about it ever since because, like, totally, what is wrong with me? (Look at the picture. That’s your hint. I don’t actually have any functional brain matter. Just strange little shapes and colors. From now on, every time someone pisses me off? The answer will have to do with strange little shapes and colors.)
Everyone else said that, in their ideal families, they would have some sort of love and intense emotional bond.
And I wanted a working functional relationship between two adults who act as leaders of the household, married or not, working together for common goals and caring for two to five children.
And I never mentioned love or mush of fluffy bunnies or any of that happy person-type crap, and now I’m thinking: Is it possible that I don’t want that?
Is it really possible that I could be happy with just me and my pony and my cranky, howling cat for the rest of forever?
And I’m thinking, HELLOOOO? Have you met that damn cat? Because, My God, it is one howly cat. And you know, having someone around to bitch about the howliness to would sure be handy sometimes.
And the rest of the time I’m just conflicted.
I blame the strange little shapes and colors.
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