Depression Talk

My theme for this week is going to be on my network: Those wonderful people who make my life easier to live just by existing in it.

I have to start this week by saying that I am a pretty difficult person to get along with. I am rife with anxiety and stress. I shriek frequently, and when it comes to volume? Let me tell you, I’m not here to fuck around. I’m hyper sensitive to any remark that might remotely have anything to do with me, and I cry at the drop of a hat. Any hat. Hell, I even cry at the drop of protective headgear.

The people in my network have a hard and tiring job in being in that network. They need to console me when I’m sobbing; they have to pick up the pieces when I fall apart. They have to deal with me constantly bemoaning my hideous relationship mistakes. What’s worse, they have to deal with the fact that I can never let anything go.

My social network is fairly small: I have a very few people who I hold near and dear to me. That is not to say that I am a trusting person. I often trust people with my heart and soul; however, at the same time, I always expect to be disappointed. That is, if I tell someone something I’d rather other people not know, and I find out that they have told a number of people? I am rarely surprised. I think it is sad that I have such little faith in humanity as a whole. Unfortunately, life has shown me time and time again that the only person you can really trust is you.

However: My network, those people who I love and run to when I need them? These are the people who have shown themselves time and time again that they are trustworthy. These are people who have not let me down, who have stood by me through thick and thin, who have literally carried me to where I need to be when I can no longer make it there myself.

I firmly believe that a strong social network is one of the things that improves mental health issues the most. I firmly believe that everyone needs to find someone or something that can help them get through the tougher times.

This week will be devoted to those people in my life who make my getting out of bed in the morning possible.